The Battle Within, Breaking the Chains of Roles and Becoming Enough

From Duality to Unity - A Path to Self-Love

In each of us, there is a quiet struggle between the opposing forces that define us:
the desire to be seen and heard, the desire to remain authentic in the face of a system that demands we play predefined roles.

In the search for love, acceptance, and meaning, we often end up losing ourselves, wearing masks that don’t reflect our true essence.
This constant search for “more” can often leave us with a sense of emptiness and confusion.

I would like to share a few thoughts again about dualities and how we can learn to accept and integrate them, to remind ourselves that we are, indeed, “enough.”

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PERSONAL STORY - LIVING IN DUALITY

Pain. Disappointment.
We’ve once again touched each other's pain.
He told me about respect, yet his actions show the opposite.
Probably because I do the same.

I’m tired of trying to make him see my perspective.
This means that, in a way, I have given up.
I feel that he will never truly see me – because he keeps trying to put me in boxes.
Probably, I do the same.

This cycle of pain and pleasure is strange. Is this addiction?
I understand and respect his expectations, his plans, his dreams.
I feel that I’m hiding, trying to overcome the shadows by prolonging this loop.
I hide from myself, I hide from him...

He keeps telling me about kids.
But realistically, if I look at us, at how we can’t meet halfway,
at how I don’t have space to be in my power – even though he says he makes room for me, but on some level, I feel that he cannot.
Probably, I do the same.

Trust? Missing.
What do I really want? A break from the roller-coaster of emotions, anxiety, freeze, fear, insecurity.
How can I think about kids, family, the wedding when we haven’t managed to find balance in business, when I feel I am always in the role of the child/victim/submissive?
How can I be in the role of a mother, a partner?

I want to be in the role of a woman, a partner.
I want to start giving myself everything I expected to receive from my partner – trips, flowers, presence, meetings, attention, care, play.

I love the rhythm of slow life, I want to slow down.
With him, I feel like I can’t keep up.

Analysis again. Judgment.

I have a theory. Maybe it’s true, maybe not.
For me, it feels alive now.
And I believe, I hope, that maybe for someone else, it feels the same.

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THE THEORY - A SACRED MARRIAGE OF DUALITIES